The Gerbils are Running

The Gerbils are Running

 

The Gerbils are running inside of my brain

Their little wheels singing that same old refrain

The faster they go the more tired I become

Running from things I can’t possibly outrun

 

Yes the Gerbils are running, so focused, so fast

The Gerbils are running, like me from the past

Lessons and pain I long to leave far behind

Of the person I was, of an uglier time

 

But like a suit of armor, those memories cling

Not bothered with me or the pain that they bring

They circle and gather like vultures above

They keep me unhappy, they keep me from love

 

They gnaw at my flesh, they pull at my thoughts

They tear at my heart; oh the pain they have wrought

Nothing can reach me here deep in my soul

Nothing but darkness, it’s all I can hold

 

No matter the season, no matter the success

The gerbils they own me emotionally best

They take me to darkness, to the safety inside

For if I never feel, then no pain can abide

 

Here the vultures can’t reach me but neither can light

I long to feel joy but it’s so hard to fight

Against the motion of running alone on that wheel

Turning and turning just so I won’t feel

 

I thought life was a map, a road I must follow

Each step has been taken, the deep and the shallow

But like players in a board game going round and round

Through success and failure; no happiness I’ve found

 

So the gerbils are running, calling my name

Telling me it’s fake, telling me nothing’s changed

I’m on the damn wheel, I’m playing the game

The gerbils are running but I can’t outrun the pain.