Not Having A Dad Does Not Equal Daddy Issues

Many people assume that if a girl grows up without her biological father as a key part of her life, then she must clearly have daddy issues. That assumption is completely wrong. My parents got divorced when I was five years old, and I haven’t actually seen or spoken to my biological father since I was nine. At this point, he is a complete stranger to me, and I have no desire to form any kind of relationship with him. According to society’s standards, due to him not being in my life, I should have extreme daddy issues that negatively affect all of my relationships. Thankfully, I am a smart young woman and believe in myself enough that I’m not going to let someone’s absence dictate how I live my life. The fact that he isn’t around is totally fine with me, because I wouldn’t want to have to force myself to associate with someone who I don’t like as a person. He’s made some pretty bad choices in his life and that is his prerogative, but I choose to not be involved with it.

My mom raised me, and she more than made up for his absence as a parent. By taking on the huge responsibility of being a single parent, she showed me that you can be strong enough to not have to solely rely on someone else. I learned to have extreme confidence in myself and the strength I have within me is because I saw her modeling it throughout my life. She didn’t want the effects of a bad marriage to negatively affect my development and growth, so she showed me by example that women can stand on their own. She always made a point to distinguish that not all men are alike, and to not judge all by the actions of one person. Because of this, my sense of girl power and self-confidence are two of my most well-developed qualities.

I completely understand that different circumstances in life can take their toll on your psyche. However, in my case I made the decision not to give this person whom I haven’t seen in twelve years any means of control or power over my life. He simply doesn’t deserve it, and I plan to grow into the best me I can. I know that this isn’t the case in some broken households and there are scars left behind, but I was lucky enough to have a mother who worked so hard to be both parents and to always ensure that I was in a stable environment growing up. I never grew up with doubts about how loved I was, because I was showered with love throughout my life and always put first.

My attitude towards this subject did take time to reach, but eventually I just came to the conclusion that wasting energy and emotion on someone so removed from my life was completely unnecessary and a waste. To me, he is a stranger. Going forward, I choose to make the most of what I was given, and I wouldn’t change what I have for anything.

Brianna Costache

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